Spotting Behavioural Changes in Children: Could It Be Online Grooming or Influence?

Children rarely tell us directly when something’s wrong — especially when it involves the online world. That’s why it’s so important to recognise subtle behavioural changes that might suggest your child is being groomed or influenced by someone online.

👀 Signs to Watch For

Behavioural changes that could point to online grooming or manipulation include:

• Suddenly becoming secretive about devices or online activity
• Mood changes: anxiety, anger, withdrawal, or fearfulness
• Unexplained gifts, money, or new possessions
• Talking about new friends you’ve never met — often older, or unwilling to give details
• Late-night internet use or attempts to be online when others are asleep
• Increased sensitivity to questions about their online life
• Use of language or knowledge of topics that seem too mature for their age

🕵️‍♂️ How Online Grooming Works: Tactics Used by Predators

Grooming is a gradual process of building trust to manipulate or exploit a child. It often follows this pattern:

1. Targeting: The predator finds vulnerable children on social media, gaming platforms, or chat rooms — often posing as someone their own age.
2. Befriending: They show interest in the child’s life — hobbies, problems at school, or issues with parents. They may give compliments or act like a supportive friend.
3. Trust-building: They gradually push for deeper conversations. The predator may begin to isolate the child emotionally by telling them things like “You can’t trust your parents” or “Only I understand you.”
4. Desensitisation: Once trust is established, they may introduce sexual language or inappropriate topics slowly, normalising them. They might use games, dares, or fake emotional attachment.
5. Control and secrecy: Groomers often convince children to keep the relationship secret, using flattery, threats, or guilt. This secrecy is what allows the abuse to continue undetected.
6. Exploitation: The end goal might be to receive explicit images, arrange to meet in person, or emotionally control the child for manipulation or abuse.

🛡️ What to Do If You’re Worried

If you notice signs of grooming or influence, here are the best steps to take:

1. Stay calm and talk: Ask gentle, open-ended questions. Avoid judgment. Try: “Has anyone online ever made you feel uncomfortable?” or “Can you show me who you talk to online?”
2. Review their device: Look for suspicious contacts, unknown apps, deleted messages, or secret accounts. Trust your instincts if something feels off.
3. Report it: Use the CEOP Safety Centre to report suspected grooming. If you believe a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
4. Get support: Contact Childline or NSPCC. Your child’s school or GP can also offer help.
5. Take back control: Set up parental controls, discuss online boundaries, and keep communication open. Reassure your child they are not in trouble and that they can always come to you.

💬 Let’s Talk

Have you ever suspected your child was being influenced online? What did you notice first? If you’re comfortable, share your story or ask a question — others in the community may be going through something similar.

— The TinyFirewalls Team